Mastering Your Mindset: The Power of Choosing Your Thoughts

Elizabeth Gilbert, in her iconic book - Eat, Pray, Love, shares a powerful insight:

"You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate."

Imagine if we treated our thoughts like our wardrobe - choosing what serves us best, what empowers us, and what aligns with the life we want to create. Instead, many of us let our thoughts run unchecked, allowing self-doubt, stress and overwhelm to dictate our emotions and actions.

The Skill of Thought Management

Our minds are powerful, but without conscious direction, they default to survival mode - worrying about the future, dwelling on past mistakes, or reacting impulsively instead of responding thoughtfully. As working parents and leaders - or leader parents as I’m starting to call us, this mental autopilot can leave us feeling drained, stuck, or constantly battling self-imposed limitations.

But here’s the truth: Mastering your thoughts is a skill, not a trait you’re born with. And like any skill, it can be developed - with awareness, practice, and support.

Why This Matters For Parents in Leadership roles

In Leadership: The best leaders are intentional with their thoughts. They don’t let fear of failure, imposter syndrome, or external pressure dictate their decisions. Instead, they cultivate resilience, focus, and emotional intelligence - famous qualities that inspire and empower others. Great leaders also recognise that their mindset influences their team (we all have heard of the "shadow of the leader"!). A leader who remains calm under pressure fosters confidence, while one who spirals into negativity creates uncertainty. Thought mastery isn't just about personal growth; it has a ripple effect on everyone around you.

In Parenting: Children model what they see. When we let stress or negativity take over, they learn to do the same. But when we show them how to manage emotions, shift perspectives, and stay present, we teach them lifelong skills for emotional well-being. Thought management allows us to parent with intention rather than reaction. It means taking a pause before responding to our child’s behaviour, reframing setbacks as learning opportunities, and cultivating a home environment built on emotional resilience. It also means learning from those occasions when we lost our cool - reflection helps overcome the guilt that inevitably comes with the realities of parenting challenges for leaders.

How Coaching Helps Build This Skill

Coaching isn’t about forcing positivity or becoming a robot who has no emotions or real expressions; it’s about giving you the tools to take charge of your mindset - to recognise limiting beliefs, reframe challenges, and create intentional responses rather than reactive ones. With the right support, you can train your mind just like you train a muscle. A coach helps you build mental agility, showing you how to move past automatic negative thinking and make space for more empowering perspectives. Over time, you learn to approach challenges with curiosity rather than fear, transforming obstacles into opportunities for growth.

Practical Ways to Start Taking Control of Your Thoughts

Here are a few simple ways you can begin cultivating thought mastery today:

Morning Intention-Setting: Before jumping into the day, take a moment to choose the mindset you want to carry with you. And yes it is possible to do that as a busy leader parent. When it's a habit it takes less than a minute.

Thought Auditing: Notice what thoughts come up frequently. Are they serving you? If not, how can you shift them? Make quick notes of them on a post-it or on your phone. Have a stack of post-its in the kitchen or in the car, bedside table - wherever your mind tends to get into the spiral.

Reframing Challenges: When faced with a setback, ask yourself: "What is this teaching me?" instead of "Why is this happening to me?". This one has been incredibly helpful for me personally - the mindset that every challenge is a lesson has given me the freedom to make intentional choices even in the worst of circumstances.

Mindful Pauses: Before reacting emotionally to a stressful situation, take a deep breath and choose your response consciously. Responding before reacting is a technique, I often work on with my clients but it's something that we can develop ourselves by noticing the stress and breathing through it.

Your Thoughts, Your Power

Every day, you get to decide: Will you let your thoughts control you, or will you take control of your thoughts? The way you lead, parent, and show up in life is shaped by this choice.

I want to be very clear that mastering your mindset isn’t about suppressing emotions - it’s about creating space between stimulus and response so you can make choices aligned with your values, goals and relationships.