The Ultra-Marathon of Parenting: Are You Running on Autopilot?
Haruki Murakami, in his book What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, writes:
"Run this long, and of course it's going to be exhausting. But at this point being tired wasn't a big issue...I had been transformed into a being on autopilot."
If you're a working parent, this might sound painfully familiar. The days start early, the nights stretch late, and somewhere in between, you’re juggling meetings, school runs, deadlines, and bedtime stories. Like an ultra-marathon, the pace never really slows. And at some point, exhaustion isn’t the issue anymore - you’re simply running on autopilot.
The Autopilot Trap in Parenting and Leadership
Both parenting and leadership require presence, patience, and decision-making. But the constant demands can push us into survival mode. We show up, we check the boxes, we keep going - often without fully engaging.
In parenting, it might look like going through the motions - packing lunches, responding to endless ‘why’ questions, tucking them in - without truly being a present parent.
In leadership, it’s easy to focus on hitting targets, managing crises, and driving results, without fully connecting to the people we lead.
This autopilot mode isn’t intentional, but when we’re stretched thin, it can feel like the only way to cope.
How Do We Switch Off Autopilot?
The key isn’t doing less - it’s being more present in the moments that matter.
Pause & Notice – Small moments of awareness break the cycle. Notice your child’s excitement about a school project. Really listen to your team member’s challenge instead of thinking about your response. Presence is powerful.
Micro-Refuels – You wouldn’t run a marathon without water breaks. Likewise, brief resets - whether it’s a short walk, a deep breath, or a moment of gratitude - help keep you engaged.
Reframe ‘The Grind’ – Yes, parenting and leadership are demanding, but they are also deeply meaningful. Instead of viewing the routine as something to ‘get through,’ look for the small wins - the laughter, the connection, the impact you’re making.
Running With Purpose
Autopilot keeps us moving, but presence makes the journey meaningful. Parenting, leadership, and life itself aren’t just about endurance - they’re about connection. The question isn’t how far can I go? but rather, how fully can I show up?