Redefining Power: What Jacinda Ardern Teaches Us About Leadership as Mothers
“You do not have to have personal ambition to be a leader. … You can believe in consensus more than you believe in conflict. You can be human. You can feel & show emotion. You can be kind, empathetic, and strong.” Jacinda Ardern, A Different Kind of Power
These words from Jacinda Ardern's memoir A Different Kind of Power we just so dreamy for me. It’s evidence of what I’ve been seeing in corporate, that we are finally ready to challenge our societal norms and expectations around what a LEADER should look and behave like. Thank goodness! I absolutely loved Jacinda’s book and gosh I hope she writes many more!
For so many women, and especially mothers in corporate leadership, leadership has long been presented as loud, assertive, outspoken, extroverted, D style, A type etc. Jacinda’s reframing offers something so so important and little spoken of: that softness is strength, that leading with consensus is just as powerful as leading with dominance. Oooh do I just love this!!!
For mothers navigating their matrescence, that message matters more than ever. Honestly the best part in the book is when Jacinda becomes a mother, and what a hero to have done it under such scrutiny that sadly women in politics still face.
The Leadership Myth We’re Still Telling Women
Despite decades of progress, women and mothers more so (if you don’t know why mothers more so, I will be writing more about the feminist movement forgetting about mothers which is the foundation of why modern motherhood is so hard. Not for this article) still feel the unrelenting pressure to lead like men. Yes, I said it, women are expected to lead like men, It’s dressed up in language like “executive presence” but essentially it’s a silent expectation for women in leadership to be like men.
Yet for many mothers I have worked with in both my Just Matrescence® Leadership Group Coaching Circle, and my 121 clients over the last few years, ambition doesn’t vanish with motherhood, it evolves. The fire is still there, but now it burns with purpose, not performance. It’s not about titles or trophies. It’s about impact, alignment, connection and authenticity.
Jacinda’s words reflect this beautifully. This is leadership that isn’t divorced from the reality of caregiving, it’s informed by it, it’s underpinned by it. It’s leadership that truly challenges gender stereotypes, Jacinda didn’t try to lead like a man. Just like her partner Clarke didn’t try to parent like a woman. They built their team together, in their own style.
What Matrescence Teaches Us About Power
Matrescence, one of my favourite words, meaning the profound transition into motherhood, is a powerful leadership container. It demands more presence, clarity, and perspective than any corporate leadership course ever could.
And yet, in most workplaces, the transformation of motherhood is seen as a detour, not a development path. But what if, as Jacinda implies, motherhood or leading in your own unique style doesn’t disqualify us from leadership, but it qualifies us?
We don’t need to be louder to be heard. We need to be more ourselves. We don’t need to be more like them. We need to be more like us. Our power lies not in mimicking traditional leadership models, but in reclaiming what’s already within us: relational wisdom, emotional fluency, adaptability, vision.
A New Kind of Leadership. One That Includes You
This is why the work I do, helping ambitious mums uncover their matrescence superpowers, feels so aligned with this moment. Ardern’s leadership invites us openly to play by our rules. To turn our perceived disadvantages into strengths.
Here are my key takeaways from the book: You don’t need to be perfect.You don’t need to be all-knowing. You just need to lead with your truth and yes, your heart.
In my coaching practice, I’ve seen women redefine what success looks like. For one client, it was no longer about hitting KPIs, but about setting boundaries and modeling wellbeing for her team. For another, it was choosing a more meaningful promotion that aligned with her values as a parent.
We’re not shrinking to fit the mould. Not any more. We’re breaking it, and rebuilding something better.
So this week, I invite you to sit with Jacinda’s words. Ask yourself:
What kind of power am I claiming?
Where am I still trying to lead like someone I’m not?
What if motherhood made me more of a leader, not less?
If you're curious to explore this deeper, take my free Just Matrescence® Leadership Assessment, it’s a powerful tool to reflect on who you are becoming as you rise through matrescence: https://workingparentcoaching.co.uk/just-matrescence-leadership-assessment-landing-page