Matrescence (& Patrescence): The Untapped Leadership Superpowers
I know this may sound a little lofty for some. But honestly, I can’t stop drawing parallels between leadership and parenting. In most workplaces, care work still sits at the bottom of the value chain, and parenting isn’t paid work. Yet from my lived experience as a mother, leader, and now leadership & working parent coach, the overlap is undeniable: the skills we need as a parent are the very skills great leaders are made of.
Back in the day, after my first baby, I thought I had to separate the leader me from the mother me, the work self from the home self. Anyone else? In 2009 that was the norm and the expectation for many mums in the workplace. I even had different outfits and bags for each identity.
With time (and three children), I realised these “two worlds” are deeply connected. The emotional recalibration, laser focus, deep empathy, and my capacity to hold space for strong emotions, these were all gifts of motherhood. Motherhood became the leadership development I never officially signed up for, and I’m so grateful I did.
What Is Matrescence? (And why it matters for leadership)
For those new here, matrescence (like adolescence) is a transformational developmental shift that unfolds over several years. Coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael and advanced by Dr. Aurélie Athan (Columbia University), matrescence is the holistic transition into motherhood, physical, emotional, social, and neurological.
This shift turns caregivers into extraordinary, yet often underrated, leaders. In plain terms: parenthood is a leadership accelerator that nurtures the exact capabilities companies spend heavily to develop.
The Neuroscience: How Parenting Reshapes the Brain
Pregnancy and day-to-day caregiving increase neural activity in regions tied to empathy, decision-making, and emotional regulation. Studies show that mothers and hands-on caregivers (including fathers, non-birthing mothers, adoptive parents, and other carers) exhibit adaptive changes in the amygdala, prefrontal cortex, and default mode network, areas linked to core leadership competencies.
It’s a focus reset: from self-directed needs to looking after another life. In other words, the regions that “light up” in leadership training also strengthen through hands-on parenting.
Leadership Qualities Built Through Parenthood
Research (and lived experience) suggest parenting builds:
Clarity and purpose (values-aligned decision-making)
Empathy and perspective-taking (inclusion, psychological safety)
Strategic prioritisation (timeboxing, ruthless focus)
Emotional intelligence (self-regulation, attunement)
Resilience under pressure (stress tolerance, recovery)
And it’s not just birthing mothers. All hands-on parents, including dads, adoptive parents, surrogates, develop these changes over time. The more daily caregiving, the more transformation.
While early research focused on pregnancy and the maternal brain, patrescence, the developmental transition into fatherhood, is gaining recognition, with emerging evidence that involved fathers and other non birthing parents also undergo meaningful psychological and neural adaptation.
From Village to Nuclear Family (Why this matters now)
For most of human history, alloparenting (shared caregiving across the community) was normal. Our nuclear family model is relatively recent; our brains are not. It’s no surprise we’re rediscovering how parenthood reshapes leadership capacity. So let’s talk about matrescence and patrescence, both.
The Workplace Disconnect (and how to fix it)
Too often, this transformation is misunderstood or devalued at work. Instead of being seen as more capable, many returning mothers face the maternal wall, while dads are offered the bare minimum flexibility, limiting their chance to grow those patrescence-driven leadership skills early.
As Amy Westervelt puts it: “We expect women to work like they don’t have children and raise children as if they don’t work.”
Yet in 2025, we still expect dads to work like they don’t have children, yet Millennial and Gen Z fathers are more involved than ever.
P.S. We don’t usually expect dads to parent like they don’t have a job, that relic still falls on mothers. Time to retire it.
Parenthood as a Leadership Accelerator (not a pause)
It’s time to stop treating parenting as a career interruption. Matrescence doesn’t hold women back; it grows leadership skills. Patrescence is real, and we need family-friendly workplaces, equitable parental leave (including extended non-birthing parent leave), and flexible work that help parents bring their new capabilities back to the business. Let’s rebrand the maternity “gap” as a leadership leap.
Curious, or ready to integrate this into your leadership? Book a free discovery call. Whether you’re exploring working parent coaching, you’re an HR/People leader, or simply matrescence / patrescence-curious, I’d love to chat over a cuppa.
Q: What is matrescence?
A: A multi-year developmental transition into motherhood, physical, emotional, social, and neurological, that often strengthens leadership capabilities.
Q: What is patrescence?
A: The developmental transition into fatherhood; hands-on dads also build empathy, regulation, and decision-making that translate into leadership at work.
Q: How does parenting improve leadership skills?
A: Caregiving trains empathy, strategic prioritisation, emotional intelligence, and resilience, the same competencies targeted in leadership programmes.
Q: How can employers support this?
A: Offer equitable parental leave (including non-birthing parent leave), flexible work, return-to-work coaching, and leadership development tailored to parents.